I’ve not written on here in a long, long time. Too long. I’ve been figuring a few things out in my head. There have been lots of changes lately, which can be difficult to deal with! Numerous ego traps have arisen, most likely in response to the changes themselves.
And when you’re not sure of who you are, it can be difficult to write assuredly about a topic such as meditation. To be honest with you, my wonderful reader(s!), I’ve not meditated an awful lot of late either. I know. Naughty Lew Lew. I used to be the first one to say: “You always have five minutes for meditation!.”
But then there’s always something getting in the way. Adult responsibilities…adult IRresponsibilities…And then when I managed to find time, I was focusing too much on what I could get out of each sitting–whether what was a quieter mind or sharper thinking or more attention on the Now.
But, as Alan Watts used to say: “Trying to force yourself to quiet your mind is like trying to smooth rough water with a flat iron; it only disturbs it more.”
I guess I’ve had a few months where my focus has been elsewhere. Mostly positive things! My spiritual side has maybe taken a backseat so I could grow. It can be frustrating, can make you question things a lot. Listening to certain teachers talk on the matter usually would be enough to settle my mind down and bring me a bit of peace but even this wasn’t working.
I had other things to work through and part of growth is that you can’t work on it all at the same time. I’m not going to commit myself to meditating more; these goals (for me, at least) can end up being counterproductive. I will slow myself down however, reminding myself to breathe, relax and smile.