Life is a learning process; you will never stop learning so long as you live. It’s not so crazy then that the path that meditation sets you upon continuously teaches you. But, due to the depth that these lessons go to, it often takes several goings over to finally sink in.
It can therefore be quite frustrating when you feel like you “should know this by now”. As I’ve said in previous posts, my inner state is changing all the time meaning sometimes I’m super chilled and peaceful but at others all caught up in my mind and personal drama and “argh what can I do, I should know this”–and then–back to peacefulness once again.
I suppose part of the frustration is that I feel I’m constantly making the same mistakes. But then again, I realise mistakes make you stronger. As well as this, it’s sort of like all my previous unconscious issues are being forced to the forefront of my life so that I can work through them. So, as time goes on, although I do get pulled into egoic drama from time to time, it gets easier to deal with and my mental hang ups are ironed out. And from this, the peace within me (which, by the way, is in everyone whether you know it or not) deepens.
I have recently started re-reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I’ve spoken about it on here before. Although this is maybe my fourth or fifth time through, I’m still learning, still deepening my understanding and also reminding myself of things I already know. And so the spiritual education continues, and this is part of the magic.
I know that I have been a little too caught up with the idea of “enlightenment” and, in fact, I’m still unconsciously desiring something better in the next moment, rather than being fully present. But I shan’t be too harsh on myself; Mr Tolle says to observe thoughts and emotions but not to judge or analyse them–and he’s got slightly better credentials than I have on the matter.
I like to give updates on where I’m at. I know some people will be reading so thanks for that guys (yes, plural) but this also helps me consolidate my understanding. In the next few posts, I want to talk a little about spiritual teachers (such as Eckhart Tolle himself) as I know first hand the benefits of a little guidance.